Marathon Update #12 (Rejoice!!!)

At the finish with my #1 fans. I did it!!!






So today is the day after the marathon and it still hasn't sunk in that I really did it. To be quite honest I'm having a tough time remembering much of the 2nd half of the race, so I'm hoping writing will help. Not to sure where to start with the whole experience so I'll start with this; the guy who won the race finished in 2:09:10. I finished in 5:36:31. A part of me would have really liked to have finished closer to that 2:09:10 time. I am now at the point where I second guess and wonder if I could have trained better or pushed harder during the race. That being said somewhere between 0.1%-2% of people ever run a marathon, (from my basic research I couldn't pin down a more precise percentage). So I did something about 99% of the population will never do. And I did it with Leukemia and less than a week after my most recent treatment. So I feel amazing knowing that. With that introduction I'll now delve into race day and hopefully I can remember most of it. Also I am writing this as much for myself as for anything else, so I may be more detailed or descriptive than usual, so my apologies in advance.

Race day! Race day came early, 3:45 am to be exact, but that was expected. Up nice and early to get ready and meet the rest of my team in our hotel lobby and shuttle off to the course. The bus ride to the course was a bit extensive. The 110 freeway was a parking lot, literally. The traffic was at a standstill and after a little while we started seeing people walking along the side of the road race gear in hand. What seemed like over a hundred people, (probably less) abandoned their vehicles on the side of the freeway to make sure they made the race on time. When we finally arrived at Dodger stadium it was a mad house. We didn't have to much time before the race started to check our gear and use the restroom, and finding our way around was a challenge. I was very happily surprised to have one of my best friends waiting for me at the stadium, I wasn't expecting to see anyone until about mile 21 so that was amazing. The race began for the super fast people, and then everyone else. I was expecting them to start everyone in waves, (it's what I hear most large marathons do) however it was more like a cattle crossing. About 30 yards out I saw my first victim of the course, poor guy laying on the ground surrounded by about six medical personnel, (probably was tripped and trampled). I started the race with my training team (Team Curly Hair: Me, Erica, Tara, and honorary race day member Alex). The first few miles were ridiculously crowded. The first mile was entirely in the parking lot at the stadium, so as we came upon the 1 Mile marker I could look over and see people still starting the race. The first few miles were fairly uneventful, except for what seemed like an excessive amount of hills.

Somewhere in the first few miles our group split, Alex fell behind to go at her own pace and Tara went on ahead at a restroom stop. Erica, (who was running her second marathon in 3 weeks, and was there solely to offer me support) stayed with me. As usual the first 6 miles offered what I like to think of as "the growing pains". Lots of pains coming and going as my body asked me, "What the hell are you doing?" Mile six was like heaven. The world slowed down, and my body started to hit its rhythm. From about mile 6 to mile 10 I felt pretty good. Some random notes from the first 10 miles: There was a guy running with a big cross on his back made of PVC pipe and we kept leap frogging with him, there were a lot of stinky people especially in the first most crowded miles, I lost one of my chocolate Gu's in the first mile, I saw maybe 3 or 4 people total in the first ten miles that were receiving medical aid while laid out on the side of the road. In total there were 30 runners that had to be taken to hospitals, one is still unconscious from cardiac arrest.

Somewhere shortly after mile 10 things started not going so well. I somewhat attribute this to my own mental state. As I came upon and passed the 10 Mile marker I was thinking a lot about how my doctor had originally said that would probably be my limit. That I would want to run but my body would just shut down. That I wouldn't be able to go much further than that, if that far at all. Well in some regards he was right. Miles 10-20ish are all a blur. Somewhere after mile 10 things started shutting down. It began with my right hamstring cramping. I had another salt packet to help, but the cramp got to the point where I could barely bend my right knee without the muscle seizing up, so I pulled off to the side of the road to stretch (the first of many stops). This was when I realized things were getting bad. I tried putting my leg up on something so I could stretch my hamstring and immediately my quadriceps seized up and cramped. I tried pulling my leg behind me to stretch my quads and my hamstring freaked out. I tried touching my toes to stretch my calves and hamstring and there began what was a few hours of the worst back spasms I've ever experienced. All that said, my first stretch break accomplished nothing in the way of stretching. So knowing that at that moment I couldn't stretch the hamstring I started back out on the course. It was shortly after that the second part shut down. My left quadriceps, which had never before even slightly bothered me began to cramp. Actually, the cramps were just above the knee about every other time my left foot struck the ground. That was the first time I had ever had a cramp like that in my life. I once again pulled of to the side of the road to stretch. Here I massaged my quads as well as I could and made the decision that I'd have to sacrifice my back for my hamstrings. It was getting to the point where I couldn't even take a step without my hamstring seizing up so it had to be done. I bent over and touched my toes, which felt like I was ripping the lower half of my back in half. It was horrible. Some more salt and back on the track. The spectators along the way were amazing. Some of them had snacks and I had more than my fair share of bananas. The signs were pretty awesome. Some of my favorites: "Chuck Norris never ran a marathon", "You're amazing", and "26.3 miles would just be crazy". The spectators were amazing. The whole journey was far more emotional than I anticipated, but I was so moved by all these people out there cheering for us. I was really touched. Add to that the fact I was wearing my Team In Training race day jersey which evoked a countless amount of "Go Team" (our official team slogan) and so many thank yous for fighting cancer. The man bearing the cross continued to leap frog with us, and I found a few other people who seemed to be about the same pace. Marilyn Monroe was there running, and I told her I'd buy her a drink at the end, (I forgot, sorry Marilyn). Miles 10 to 20 were a blur as far as the order of things, but I do remember a lot of the randomness. My body began to continue to break down. I soon got to the point where both legs, (quads and hamstrings) were alternating cramping. Luckily my back spasms were mostly just while trying to stretch at this point. Somewhere along the way I had to pull off to the side and throw up, (kind of gross sorry). I'm not exactly sure when that happened. Another time I was on the grassy street median, and fell over while trying to stretch. I remember that happening because it was both very embarrassing and extremely painful. I tried to play it off that I was just sitting down to stretch but I don't think Erica bought it. Someone came and offered me a pain relieving spray, but I had to turn it down because I was afraid that if I took anything to dull the pain I wouldn't know what was going on with my body, and not being able to monitor things would be dangerous. At every mile there were water stops which was amazing. The volunteers at the water stops were awesome. Encouraging us as we went and working hard to make sure we had water and Powerade. I could not thank them enough and by the end of the race I probably told at least a dozen of them that I loved them. These miles were when I really had to mentally buckle down. I had to find ways to inspire myself and keep going. My first tactic was to think about everyone who told me I couldn't do this. Thinking about how this is something I shouldn't be able to do and I was gonna do it anyway. After a little of that I needed something different. Listening to the names of everyone who donated was great. Actually that was one of the best race prep things I did, (thanks mentor lady for the idea and "206" for recording the names for me). After that I needed something more. I thought about the smiling faces of friends and family that would be waiting for me at the finish. I especially though of how great it'd be for my little ones to run up to me smiling and excited to see me. All of these thoughts helped push me. And I revisited each one several times. However Somewhere closer to mile 20 everything shut down. The headaches I'd been fighting off came back as a mini-migrane, all my leg muscles seized up on me at once, and my back started spasming uncontrollably. Add to that, the bottom of my feet felt like they were on fire, especially the left. This was the first time I really didn't think I could do it. I came really close to shutting down and stopping. I no longer felt confident that I could tell the difference between the acceptable pain and the dangerous pain. I no longer felt I could continue to handle the pain I was already experiencing. This was one of the darkest moments of the race. This was the point where everything in the race changed. It was no longer an experience but now soley a purpose. I thought about my friends who passed away losing their battle to leukemia. I thought about my friends who were still fighting. I thought about how much this would mean to all of the them. I thought about all the children who are fighting and how hard it must be for them. And then the real reason I started this whole thing kicked in and I was no longer running for myself. I made myself think of what it'd be like to let them all down. I thought about how it'd feel if another one of my friends took a bad turn with their disease and I thought "what if I'd finished the race? Would that have inspired them and made a difference?" I thought about all this, and then I got back on the course and ran.

Miles 20 on are where I really have a tough time remembering, so hopefully I can accurately cover that. Somewhere around mile 21 a great friend met me with ice cold grapes. They were the sweetest, juiciest grapes I've ever had. I'd have to imagine that's how good the fruit was in the Garden of Eden. I wish I could of ate more, but holding things down was tough. I also had my close friend from the starting line back. Both friends got huge hugs which were as much to say thank you as they were to give my body a little rest while I was leaning on them. I walked with these friends for a bit, but I soon realized that if I didn't start again now, then I wouldn't ever. So Erica and I got back on the course and ran. I really don't remember much of the 20's. I had my slowest mile, roughly 20 minutes and my best mile (best not fastest) mile 26. The 20's were hard. I had to think a lot about why I was there. I had to think about that so much. I wanted to quit so bad. I don't know how I did it. There were several times every ounce of me hurt. There were several times I had to pull off to the side of the road and pretend I needed a stretch because I was afraid I was gonna fall over. There were several times I stumbled and there were several times every leg muscle I had simultaneously cramped. It was painful. It was torturous. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done. Hands down, not even close the most difficult thing. I knew I could quit and nobody would hold it against me. There were a couple scary moments when I got a bit dizzy or it was hard to keep my eyes open and I had to stop and thought maybe quitting would be the smart thing. But usually around these moments some really old person would cruise past me, or someone who reminded me of one of my lost friends and I'd think to myself, "I can, I can". So we ran on. The last few miles I was able to run a bit more regularly, however I wasn't able to keep going for more than a couple minutes at a time. Somewhere around mile 24 I was done. I cant remember where we were at, or what happened, but I remember being on the side of the road and thinking, "this is it. I'm done." I couldn't put any pressure on my feet, and couldn't stand in any position that didn't result in something cramping up. I vividly remember telling myself, "you're finished." That was a very dark moment. Very dark. I pictured my friends, both those fighting and those who've lost their fight and told them how sorry I was, but I couldn't go on anymore. I just couldn't. I remember bending over trying to stretch and Erica saying, "come on let's go." And I did. I ran. I ran strong, I ran well. I focused everything I had on finishing. I stopped caring if it was dangerous. I stopped trying to figure out if I was pushing to hard or if this was the dangerous pain. I decided that I was going to move. I was not going to stop. If I collapsed than so be it. If I passed out on the course than so be it. But I was going to move toward that finish no matter what. I remember that decision. I remember that moment. I don't really remember after that. Erica says I had my best stretch where I ran nonstop for about 12 minutes. I had my fastest mile since way earlier, and I ran. I took a walking break to gather myself again. And then I ran to the finish. I finished. I did it!!!!

For now I am going to end there. I will do another update that covers more about the finish and after the race. But for now, I need a mental rest, even writing about it, is far more emotional than I anticipated. Thank you again everyone who has supported me. I love you all. Please spread the word, there are so many people fighting a battle with leukemia, and any and all awareness moves us closer to a cure. Feel free to share my website and blog to help spread the awareness. Also please leave comments, I love them.


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